It’s not such a Simple Life these days, and no one seems to know that better than Nicole Richie. Mom, wife and fashionista extraordinary, the candid tabloid splasher is back on television to grace us all with her surprisingly hilarious sense of humour, teaching us some invaluable life lessons. Who knew? Next time you’re about to enter a crap storm of crazy decisions, just keep calm and ask yourself: What would Nicole Richie do?
1. Your sex life has suddenly become a little … dull.
Trying to convince @joelmadden to get a long fake ponytail so we can make love Avatar style
— Nicole Richie (@nicolerichie) July 2, 2014
2. And you really hate it when he does things better than you …
I would rather get a colonic in front of everyone, than parallel park in front of anyone.
— Nicole Richie (@nicolerichie) February 10, 2014
3. You figure, maybe a “couples costume” this Halloween will help?
4. But then your puppy ruins the mood, again.
Oh, you weren’t up til 4am with your dog who has explosive diarrhea? Sucks for you, Loser!
— Nicole Richie (@nicolerichie) January 22, 2014
5. So you try to take up a new hobby instead.
I’ve sent my husband 7 emails this morning on why raising chickens is a great choice for us and weirdly he won’t write me back…
— Nicole Richie (@nicolerichie) December 28, 2013
6. Your turn to your best friend for advice, but she’s stuck on another annoying fad diet.
Is there a morning after pill for gluten?
— Nicole Richie (@nicolerichie) December 14, 2013
7. And even worse, her friends totally judge you (what, isn’t planking still a thing?). 8. Once you do get in with them things get weird …
my girlfriend asked me if, tonight, I want to stay in, lay in sweatpants & eat sushi”. Is she sexting me?
— Nicole Richie (@nicolerichie) March 13, 2013
9. So you just end up hating everyone.
People who type with their iPhones on loud are barbarians and probably killers
— Nicole Richie (@nicolerichie) May 16, 2013
10. You begin to wonder what’s wrong with you.
This guy asked me what my blood type was. He was obviously trying to sleep with me…. He was also my doctor.
— Nicole Richie (@nicolerichie) June 9, 2013
11. But then you learn to just accept yourself instead.
Me! ✋ RT @AmberFez: Who remembers when Nicole Richie was a crack whore
— Nicole Richie (@nicolerichie) June 28, 2014