Life Food
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Gwyneth Paltrow has always seemed kind of superhuman. Like an elegant vampire. There’s her alien-esque bone structure, and the way she wafts along the red carpet, of course. And then there’s Goop, Gwen’s self-curated weekly lifestyle website, which takes her otherworldly being to the next level.

Goop basically makes us average humans feel, well, average. The site usually provides its readers with ‘totally attainable’ life goals curated by the star, like must-wear $690 Stella McCartney track pants, $125 pots of exfoliant, and wacky diet fads.

So we weren’t totally shocked when GP uploaded her most favourite omg-this-is-so-delicious-you-guys breakfast smoothie recipe to Goop this week. But, what did make our jaw hit our keyboard was the cost to make said smoothie at home.

According to BuzzFeed, the concoction clocks in at $200. No, Hal Johnson and Joanne McLeod, this is not your average get-fit milk, yogurt and banana shake.

So no, it doesn’t cost $200 per smoothie, but once you fill your grocery basket with all of the necessary ingredients? Yeah. Also, let’s keep in mind, this is American dollars. So, in Canada right now, we’re taking $270. For breakfast shake ingredients. Celebrities, they’re just like us!

Gwynnie apparently drinks this smoothie “every single morning, whether or not she’s detoxing.”

Likely, your pantry will have one of the eight ingredients needed to make GP’s smoothie.

It starts off pretty simply: one cup of almond milk (check), one tablespoon of almond butter (we swear we had some), followed by one teaspoon of coconut oil (again, check). And that’s where it ends. The other remaining elements include a vanilla mushroom protein powder, maca, and ingredients we’ve never even tried to pronounce before, like ashwagandha, he shou wu and cordyceps power. (Write those down for the next Scrabble game you play.)

But the most intriguing, albeit expensive, ingredient is the Moon Juice Sex Dust. The 2.2 ounce jar is listed at $60 USD on the brand’s website. But as a Canadian, even if you wanted oh-so badly to blend this bad boy for breakfast, you couldn’t. Moon Juice Sex Dust only ships within the States.

Maybe Sex Dust is the key to Gwyneth’s superhuman agelessness, but us Canucks will never know.