So many beautiful and talented people, so many unflattering silhouettes and boring fabrics. Usually we reserve the spots on this list for those who took fashion risks on the red carpet and failed spectacularly. But sometimes, the most spectacular crashes are those that happen at walking speed.
Someone needs to remind Courtney Love, Gemma Arterton and Heidi Klum that playing it safe is one of the most offensive things you can do in fashion. OK, so maybe don’t tell Courtney…
Or, maybe we just missed the memo on mediocrity being on trend this Fall. Did you get that one?
Why did frumpy fashion rule the red carpet this week?
Alix AngelisMagnificent Seven Actress Alix Angelis looked less than magnificent at TIFF. Urban Outfitters must've been trying to get rid of their summer stock the day Alix went shopping for her red carpet look. Sorry not sorry.Getty Images
Aya CashAya Cash’s jumpsuit looks like it was ordered from a sketchy website. Like, when it came in the mail looking very different from the picture online, she didn’t have time to find something new, or even iron it, before the You’re The Worst premiere party. So, here we are.Getty Images
Courtney LoveCourtney Love toned it way down this week from her usual baby doll dress and smudged lipstick, to a look as flattering as fluorescent lighting. She looks really classy here at New York Fashion Week, but she also looks like a rectangle covered in the fabric from grandma’s curtains.Getty Images
Elizabeth ReaserIt’s hard to find something that actually stands out about Elizabeth’s forgettable look. The one semi-interesting detail, the tie around the waist, is nearly invisible. If she made a dress out of the fun pattern on her clutch, though, we’d definitely remember that. Getty Images
Ella PurnellElla Purnell looks ridiculously cute from the neck up. Why she chose such an unflattering below-the-neck option is a mystery. With a not-quite drop waist, horizontal strips and a boxy neckline, this is not doing her justice. A littler tailoring in the bodice would do wonders.Getty Images
Emily RatajkowskiEmily Ratajkowski is an angel sent from heaven to brighten our lives with her beauty, but even she makes some strange choices. The gold is great, the accessories are on point, but the dress over matching pants (which are a tad too short) just looks odd.Getty Images
Gemma ArtertonGemma Arterton was a Bond girl, so what is she doing looking like the most boring member of a country club? She could not be more covered up if she tried-oh wait, yes she could, because she’s pushed the sleeves up to her elbows. The problem isn’t forearm coverage, Gemma, it’s the fact that it makes you look like a big rectangle.Getty Images
Heidi KlumThis is a very Heidi dress. We’ve seen this silhouette and length on her a thousand times. Sure it’s got some sparkles and it’s a little artfully tattered, but there’s nothing unexpected or exciting about this look, and we’ve seen her do better.Getty Images
Jessica AlbaApart from her role in Sin City, Jessica Alba has never really been someone we’d describe as edgy, so it’s refreshing to see her in a darker look. However, her inexperience in this genre of dress shows. The outfit isn’t very flattering, and the jacket and boots are just too much. Getty Images
Kate MicucciJust because Kate Micucci often uses her childlike voice for comedic effect doesn’t mean she should dress like a child...Specifically like a 12-year-old who just found out that she’s allowed to customize her school uniform.Getty Images
Maria BelloWhat hurts most about this look is that you can see the attempt at glamour and exactly where it went wrong. The colour is great, the necklace is an awesome statement piece, but there’s only so many good things you can say about a draped tarp. Maybe she’s headed to a toga party later. It would explain a lot.Getty Images
Mel B and Phoenix Chi GulzarIn this two for one deal we have Scary Spice doing her best pageant girl impression, and her daughter Phoenix looking like an up-and-coming Instagram model, and not necessarily in a good way. In a week full of dull, we applaud these two for not holding back—but maybe next time they could hold back the choker and the leopard jacket.Getty Images
Michelle RodriguezThe TIFF dress code is usually a little more casual than other celeb-studded events, but that doesn’t mean you can get away with jeans and a tank top, even if you wear a velvet military blazer over top. This is what you wear to the mall with your friends, not a film premiere.Getty Images
Nick CannonIf someone told you that they wanted to wear a suit made entirely of white silk, including the shirt and bowtie, you’d probably shudder and politely advise against it based on that information alone. Nick Cannon takes it next level with his matching turban and glittery loafers. We applaud your audacity, Nick. Getty Images
Rebecca HallWe remember the days when everyone’s dress for the high school dance had an uneven hem like this. Sorry, Rebecca Hall, but this look went out of style in 2007. The top of this dress is fine, but the limp peplum and the cut of the hem make this a very confused look.Getty Images
Rooney MaraYou can see the regret in Rooney Mara’s eyes. As far as this year’s TIFF looks go, she gets points for risk taking, but what is going on with the fabric choices? The leather top does not gel with the mesh over pale pink bottom. Getty Images
Yvonne StrahovskyPerhaps Maria Bello and Yvonne came up with a plan to colour coordinate. Seriously, has anyone heard of a colour that isn’t blue this week? Yvonne’s suit is nicely tailored, but even the glimpse of her bra isn’t enough to keep our yawns at bay. Getty Images