Let me start by saying this observation could have been made public by myself or any other male on this planet. No man worth your time wants to chase after a woman who plays hard to get. You know who does? The man who doesn’t want to commit, or is scared to — the guy who loves the chase. Trust me, I was that guy. So if that is the kind of quasi-relationship you’re after, by all means, keep doing what you’re doing.
If not, and you’re looking for a some quality to your man, a collection of studies recently published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin has found that men are most attracted to women who are nice to them. Yes, everything you were taught about playing hard to get is wrong. Very wrong.
To conduct the study, 112 singles were asked to discuss a negative dating event with an opposite-sex stranger. After the conversation, participants then rated these strangers’ responsiveness, sexual attractiveness, dating potential, and other traits relative to one’s appeal. Nicer women were found to rank highest in every category, meaning not only was she seen as sexier, but she was also a more desirable long-term companion. This means the friendly neighbourhood girl-next-door gets the best of both worlds: the one-night stand and the worthwhile relationship.
However, women did not find Mr. Nice Guy attractive. The reason for this, researchers suggest, is because women may be more skeptical of a nice guy’s intentions so early. Regardless though, being nice works for you gals, so we consulted further research to affectively target how you can convey the right amount of ‘responsiveness’ on your next date.
Give some context
According to Social Issues Research Centre, a man concludes whether or not he’s attracted to you (and vice versa) by the way you respond to his questions. Quick, snappy responses express you’re not into him — it’s also plain bitchy. So aim to smile when it’s appropriate (not creepy), and follow-up your answers with context to your expression. Remember, being mysterious isn’t an effective technique anymore, men don’t want to play a guessing game.
Provide personal details
Piggy-backing on this previous point, the inclusion of personal information is a good way of telling when somebody is interested. It also shows you’re not hiding anything. Now we’re not saying you give him your Debit Card password or anything, but detailing a funny story from work is a nice and harmless way to let him in. If he then counters with a personal tale himself, you’re in luck! According to research, sharing also serves to increase feelings of intimacy between people.
Grab a warm beverage
As we disclosed in our 10 scientifically proven flirtation tips, something as simple as him holding a warm beverage during a date could influence someone’s entire perception of you, and a warm beverage helps him view you as kind and generous. We’re not kidding. It was also found that holding a cold beverage could deliver an opposite response, so either order something hot for him, or heed the results of a romantically fatal Frappuccino.