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Woman Cuts Off Husband’s Penis Twice, Then Throws It Out the Window
This is actually the worst possible thing someone could do to a man. Ever. A woman in China flew into a rage after she discovered that her husband, Fan Lung, was sending racy emails to another woman — using her own phone. She stormed into his bedroom where she found Fan sleeping, and allegedly cut his penis off using a pair of scissors. Here’s where it gets crazy: While Fan was recovering in hospital, his wife returned and cut his reattached penis off again, except this time she threw it out of a window. Doctors and police officers haven’t been able to find it since, and believe a stray dog or cat may have made off with it.

Seinfeld

NASCAR driver Kurt Busch testifies ex-girlfriend is an assassin
NASCAR driver Kurt Busch recently testified in a domestic abuse court hearing that his ex-girlfriend is a trained assassin who kills people for a living. Wow, right? Well, the details surrounding the case began after Busch was eliminated from the 2014 Sprint Cup. His ex-girlfriend Patricia Driscoll says the incident sent Busch into an emotional downward spiral, and soon he took his rage out on her. Busch denies those allegations, and countered by detailing supposed assassination missions Driscoll participated in. Including one in Texas, where she apparently came home wearing a blood-spattered nightgown.

Kill Bill

Drunk man tried to have sex with postbox in middle of shopping arcade
Erm…special delivery! Paul Bennett, 45, was seen making “sexual advances” towards a mailbox in the U.K. According to a witness, Bennett approached the box with his pants down before rubbing himself against it while holding his hands in the air shouting, “wow.” When police arrived, the man — still naked — became agitated and launched into a expletive-filled tirade. Bennet was handed a 12-month community order with an alcohol treatment and supervision requirement.

Seven-year-old boy drives drunk dad home on tricycle through busy road at night
Such a precious childhood memory. Pictures of a small child driving a tricycle have gone viral in China after they showed him weaving through busy traffic with his dad passed out in the back. The boy, who appeared to be wearing slippers, reportedly drove with “skill and composure” during the round trip, which clocked about 20km. It’s unclear whether the dad has been charged.

Florida PD uses mug shots of black men for target practice
Is this the wrong arm of the law? In the wake of the police-related deaths of Eric Garner and Michael Brown, it’s been discovered that the North Miami Beach Police Department uses mug shots of real black convicts for target practice on the shooting range. The story came to light after Sgt. Valerie Deant arrived at firearms training, only to find a mug shot of her brother’s face filled with holes at the end of the range. “The picture actually has, like, bullet holes,” her brother said. “One in my forehead and one in my eye — I was speechless.” Officials admit that the officers could have used better judgement, but still denied any racial profiling.

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