The road to motherhood can sometimes be turbulent. While it comes easy for some, for others, it can be painful, heartbreaking and exhausting. It can take a toll on a woman or couple, who might try for weeks or months or years — but get nowhere. You want to scream out in frustration to anyone and everyone, but it’s also such a personal matter, you’d often rather just quietly deal.
That’s what Sara Walsh did. For a long time the former ESPN anchor kept her struggles from loved ones and colleagues, but finally opened up in a gut-wrenching post, where she revealed her traumatic story: that she had suffered a miscarriage while hosting a live show.
My mother bought them these onesies because she thought they were funny. For us, they're especially poignant. Finding a good egg didn't come easy for me, and I suspect there are many people out there facing the same struggle. The road down a dark path began while hosting Sportscenter on the road from Alabama. I arrived in Tuscaloosa almost three months pregnant. I wouldn't return the same way. The juxtaposition of college kids going nuts behind our set, while I was losing a baby on it, was surreal. I was scared, nobody knew I was pregnant, so I did the show while having a miscarriage. On television. My husband had to watch this unfold from more than a thousand miles away, texting me hospital options during commercial breaks. It would get worse. Two more failed pregnancies. More than once, I'd have surgery one day and be on SportsCenter the next so as not to draw attention to my situation. We then went down the IVF road of endless shots and procedures. After several rounds, we could only salvage two eggs. I refused to even use them for a long time, because I couldn't bear the idea of all hope being gone. I blew off pregnancy tests, scared to know if it worked. It had. Times two. It was exciting news, but we knew better than to celebrate. So I spent a third straight football season pregnant, strategically picking out clothes and standing at certain angles, using scripts to hide my stomach. There would be no baby announcement, no shower, we didn't buy a single thing in preparation for the babies, because I wasn't sure they'd show up. We told very few people we were pregnant, and almost no one there were two. For those that thought I was weirdly quiet about my pregnancy, now you know why. For as long as I can remember I hosted Sportscenter on Mother's Day, and the last couple years doing that have been personally brutal. An hours-long reminder of everything that had gone wrong. I wasn't on tv today, and I'm not sure when I will be again, but instead I got to hang with these two good eggs. My ONLY good eggs. And I know how lucky I really am. #twins #ivf
“The road down a dark path began while hosting Sportscenter on the road from Alabama,” Walsh recalled in her post. “I arrived in Tuscaloosa almost three months pregnant. I wouldn’t return the same way. The juxtaposition of college kids going nuts behind our set, while I was losing a baby on it, was surreal. I was scared, nobody knew I was pregnant, so I did the show while having a miscarriage. On television. My husband had to watch this unfold from more than a thousand miles away, texting me hospital options during commercial breaks.”
That’s about as devastating as we could imagine. But Walsh wrote that it only got worse. Two more failed pregnancies followed and there was more than one occasion where she’d “have surgery one day and be on Sports Center the next so as not to draw attention to my situation.”
They eventually tried in vitro fertilization, but even after she and her husband, baseball player Matt Buschmann, found out she was pregnant again they were leery. They only told a few people about their news, didn’t have a shower, or prepare for their babies in any way, because they “knew better than to celebrate.” Wow. Heartbreaking, right? At a time when all you want to be doing is celebrating, but instead each day is fraught with fear. The tension must have been unbearable. But it was all worth it.
Sara and Matt now have healthy three-month-old twins, Hutton and Brees. In the photo accompanying Walsh’s moving caption, she is sandwiched between her babies, who are dressed in matching “good egg” onesies.
Although she was recently laid off by ESPN, she says that spending the past few Mother’s Days hosting SportsCenter was “personally brutal, an hours-long reminder of everything that had gone wrong.” This past Mother’s Day, however, she was exactly where she wanted to be: with her children.
We will miss all of our family and friends (and sunshine) so much, but couldn't have asked for a better first 3 months of their lives. From the doctors, to the nicu nurses, to @infinityphotographybyrita – everyone who crossed our path on this last-minute audible to Have the twins in my hometown of Tampa, we are so grateful. And thank you to @busch45, for packing his little heart out for our family. #clearwaterbeach