A female orgasm is a lot like a bike lock. Let us explain. Bike locks are a pain right? You have to bend awkwardly to try and get the lock around the metal pole, the key gets stuck, it pinches your fingers, you might drop it on your foot. It can feel like a hassle. It can be awkward. It can take a lot of time. Sometimes you even avoid stopping because it’s so annoying. Sometimes you don’t even use the lock because it’s so frustrating and you are just running in for a minute and you can keep your eye on it the whole time thinking “Oh, I hope no one steals my bike!”. Are you getting the picture?
One of the perks of the internet are blogs like “How to make me come“. It’s a place where women can anonymously share their experience (and men can get some insight) into the mystery that is the female orgasm. Forget those so called “pick up artists”, bros and dudes and chicks who dig chicks, put down the video game and read this. But don’t get scared. Remember it’s like a bike lock, it can take practice, especially if it’s rusty, but it’s worth it. You don’t want anyone stealing your bike right?
We’ll leave a few pointers we picked up from the blog to pique your interest:
1. Patience! Especially in the beginning. Nothing feels more disheartening than a guy going down on you and then looking up and sighing audibly.
2. Care! It’s a real whole person.
3. Ask! Not every bike lock is the same.
4. Don’t forget the boobs!
5. Vibrators are nice but not a replacement.
6. Some women can only orgasm with penetration.
7. Some women can only orgasm with oral stimulation.
8. Some women almost come but never completely…close but no cigar.
9. Some women come really quickly.
10. It takes a while to figure out what works but it’s worth it.
11. Oh and not too rough with the fingers (remember the bike lock).
12. And make sure you smell nice (but not too much cologne, clean is great).
Honestly, after reading the up to 64 tips on female orgasms we were overwhelmed ourselves. No wonder we hate using a bike lock.
And to all the young women out there who are struggling with their own bike locks, we’d like to say don’t give up! Nothing is more powerful than a young woman who has the audacity to truly own who she is and live it in the world.
Keep at it. Go to therapy. Rock it with a vibrator. Make your pleasure a priority. Indulge instead of deny.
Because a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle and if you own a bicycle you need a bike lock!
Check out all the stories at “How to make me come”.