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When you think of GOOP, you probably think not this white woman and her luxury hand towels again. And that’s a fair thing to think, since Gwyneth Paltrow‘s personal lifestyle brand is very expensive and mostly weird. But what is it like to work at GOOP? It’s a lot like what you might expect.

Staff Work Out of a Barn

The GOOP offices are in a barn that Gwyneth owns. It does not house animals, and Charlotte is not spinning a web out of medium-weight cashmere. It does, however, have “soaring ceilings and rustic wood floors” and is “nestled among blooming hydrangea bushes.” You know who won’t be coming over for a green juice? Madonna.

Gwynny is a Cool Boss

GOOP’s editorial director Elise Loehnen tells Racked that staff is so comfortable with the matron of overpriced candles that they “affectionally refer to her” as “GP.” Wow!

The Barn Doesn’t Smell Like Horse Poop

“The whole place smells like essential oils,” reveals Racked.

Gwyneth has a Pinterest Boner

Everyone loves a project, right? Gwynny has “a bookshelf where all of her volumes are arranged by colour.”

Whimsy is Paramount

You need whimsy if you’re going to steam your vagina. It’s quirky stuff like this that makes Gwyneth Paltrow who she is. Naturally, her office has a “whimsical staircase.”

Gwyneth doesn’t do heavy lifting

How involved is she in the overall business of GOOP? Very, sort of. She does offer up her kitchen. “Everything is pretty much signed off by GP,” notes Loehnen. “She’s not repackaging stories or doing any heavy lifting, but we’re recipe-testing in her kitchen, going over the issue on Tuesdays.” Gwyneth is totally willing to eat kaniwa with her staff, apparently.

The Staff is Unrelatable

“I think the idea of making [GOOP] more relatable is what gets people in trouble,” Loehnen says. “We can only just be ourselves.” Huh.

And that’s what it’s like to work in a barn for Gwyneth Paltrow.