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The world collectively rose early last Saturday morning to watch the royal wedding between Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, the newly minted Duke and Duchess of Sussex. The highly anticipated event drew huge crowds both in person and in front of screens, with millions watching on TV, as well as live streams on social media. Of course, those with the best seats in the house were celebrity guests like Oprah Winfrey, George and Amal Clooney, Serena Williams, James Corden, Elton John, Idris Elba and more. But it’s likely that even they didn’t really know what the newlyweds were saying. Thankfully, we now know. Kinda. Not really. Okay, they definitely didn’t say any of these things, but it’s fun to pretend.

The YouTube series Bad Lip Reading has released their latest hilarious video and this time they’ve set their notoriously poor sights on the royal wedding. There’s a lot of deep breathing. There’s some discussion of gifts, and #giftfails. There’s talk about the terrible smell in the chapel. And of course, there’s a lot of intriguing  preaching coming from Bishop Michael Curry, with the members of the royal family snickering throughout the American religious leader’s speech. Unfortunately, that part is accurate. The royals weren’t ready for the truth bombs being dropped during Saturday’s sermon by Bishop Curry.

BBC/Giphy

The only thing missing from the royal wedding edition of Bad Lip Reading is the show-stealing, super cute Page Boys and Bridesmaids. We’re not sure what was being said while the children were corralled outside the chapel or walking down the aisle together, but we’d love to know. Plus, considering how excited twins Brian and John Mulroney were about being involved in Auntie Meghan’s big day, we have to think they were promised something big. A pool? New video games? An estate in Scotland? We can only imagine.