Life Food
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Chocolate, with its silky-and-sweet, penetrative profile, can be better than the best sex. At its worst, chocolate is still pretty darn great. Bad sex, however, can feel like you’re being flopped on by a fish that’s made its way on land. What we’re saying is, chocolate always makes a good bedfellow. (If you’re lactose-intolerant, and can only find milk chocolate, take a lactaid.)

Chocolate comforts – it holds you, hugs you, and if you’re of the opinion that dark chocolate is healthy, it nourishes. It makes us all into Cathy, the patron saint of cocoa. To feed your insatiable hunger, we’ve got a recipe for you. And it’s good: slow-cooker hot chocolate that tastes exactly like a brownie. It’ll shoot down your throat, and coat your inner core with its decadent, ebony mudslide. Amirite ladies?

What you’ll need

  • 6 cups whole milk
  • 1.5 cups heavy cream
  • 1 can condensed milk
  • 12 ounces semi-sweet chocolate
  • 1 slow-cooker
  • 1 dash good vanilla extract

How it’s made

  1. Pour all ingredients into the slow-cooker, stir
  2. Cook on low for 2 hours
  3. When time is up, whisk it all like crrrrrrazy
  4. Pour, top with marshmallows if you like ’em.